Who, when I’m sorry, makes me glad?

Who cheers me when I’m weary?

My prohibition friend’s the lad,

I always keep him near me.

My prohibition friend and I,

Have jogged through life together

And oftentimes we have been dry,

In wet and rainy weather.

Together, we don’t always pull.

To fight, he tries to tempt me.

He’s always empty when I’m full

And full when I am empty.

With him I would be loth to part,

He’s such a charming fellow.

He always tries to cheer my heart

And make me feel so “mellow”.

My friend at times when I have been

Disposed to be unruly,

Has backed me up through thick and thin

And made me feel so “bully”.

Sometimes, when I am on a huff

With him I’d like to quarrel,

Because he is not big enough,

To hold at least a barrel.

A ship without a sail or keel,

Or a rudder for to guide her,

Feels just about as I would feel,

Without my old friend “Schneider”.

The contents of my jolly friend,

Oft makes me feel quite dizzy

And makes me very reckless when

I try to drive my lizzie.

The road’s too narrow for my car,

It lunges, skids and pitches.

Before I have gone very far,

It lands me in the ditches.

This prohibition friend of mine

Has caused me lots of sadness,

But yet he managed to entwine

My heart with joy and gladness.

My love for him, no tongue can tell,

Our friendship is a fixture.

This is the friend I like so well,

Just gaze on his dear picture.